Thursday, October 24, 2013

On the Edge


Lately, I've been feeling on the edge about something just under the surface.

I don't know any other way to explain it---I feel like something is about to happen or change or appear in my life that I didn't expect.

Maybe it's because not much has changed in my life over the past year and a half---in fact, this is the most stable my life has been in years (maybe the most stable it's been ever). In other stages of my life, things were always changing: boyfriends, jobs, the schooling situation, locations, etc. But as of now, Matt and I have been in the same apartment for two and a half years, we've been together for more than three years, I've had my teaching job for 14 months, and I've been in the same church calling for 18 months. My weekly schedule rarely varies (work from 6:30 - 5:00, go running on M/W/Sat, donate plasma on Tu/Th, and go to the weekly activities with my young women on Thursday nights. Every second, third, and fourth Sunday, I have a meeting, and I'm pretty sure that on most Sunday nights, we'll be playing board games with our friends. Throw in our weekly date night on Friday, and you've pretty much summarized my life.

Maybe it's just because I'm so used to change that I feel so unsettled lately, but I can't help feeling like something is right on the corner of my vision.

Sometimes the feeling hits me right before I go to sleep, and I'll scoot a little closer to Matt and put my arms around him to feel more secure.

Sometimes the feeling hits me when I'm reading around 8 PM at night, and mid-page-turn, I'll feel like something is off, or like I'm forgetting something.

Does this ever happen to you?




4 comments:

  1. Yes all the time. Because ever since I have been 17 my life has changed yearly. It is like when things get normal and steady I know some big change is going to come and mess everything up. And I constantly feel like I am forgetting something big. And usually I am.

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  2. When I finally reach a point of stability in life I am going to freak out! (In a good way) Some days I just crave predictability. So far life has been quite the ride and I don't expect it to slow down any time soon.

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  3. you look gorgeous in the second picture, i absolutely love it. good luck to whatever is coming your way!

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  4. I feel like I have been experiencing this for the last few months ever since we bought our house. I'm not used to feeling "so settled." It is a wonderful feeling, but I can't put my finger on the next change of pace for us.

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