Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Tuesday Tell-All


 
Top 6 Things On My Mind: 
 
1. Today is Matt's 27th birthday, and his gifts that I ordered online still haven't come. Amazon, you have very rarely failed me in life, but this is one of those times. And this morning, when I was trying to start his birthday off with a bang, I decided to leave a bunch of chocolates I'd bought yesterday scattered all over the bed, with a card that thanked him for being the "Treasure" and "Bliss" in my life. The only problem? I realized after I'd made the card that I'd bought Hershey's Nuggets, not Treasures, and Dove chocolates, not Bliss. On a happier note, I made Matt's favorite last night (a chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake from scratch), and it looks as if that (at least) is definitely not going to disappoint.
 
2. Yesterday, I realized a Great Teaching Truth: ironically enough, Mondays seem to be my best teaching day of the whole week. Maybe it's just because everyone is still so tired from the weekend, but it's by far my most peaceful day. And the worst day for teaching? Friday. Go figure.
 
3. We have had massive construction going on all around our apartment fourplex for months now, and it's reached epic proportions---being woken up at 7:30 a.m. on a SUNDAY to the sound of hammering, fearing to leave the house because someone is hammering right against your door frame and you worry you'll get impaled...it's frightening, I tell ya. There are two bits of good that come out of it though: firstly, our fourplex now looks like it doesn't quite belong in the ghetto, and secondly, our new landlord gave us a $30 gift certificate to Texas Roadhouse for putting up with the noise and inconvenience.
 
(The construction is the reason, in fact, that these selfies were taken on our shabby stairs instead of outside, where the view is easier on the retinas. I just couldn't bring myself to parade about having Matt take picture of me while the construction workers looked on, ya know?)
 

4. Over the weekend, we submitted Matt's graduation form to the university! Even though he's still got another 3 years (at least) after getting his bachelor's in the spring, I'm still so excited I can hardly believe it---this just means we're one step closer to the not-being-perpetual-students stage. (Of course, I'm considering going back and getting my own master's degree in a few years, so who knows? Maybe we'll never leave the school scene. With me being a teacher, y'all know I won't anyway...That's kind's of a gross thought.)

5. Here we are, a month into the new school year, and I still feel like I barely know anything about any of my students. I know for a fact that I didn't feel like this last year, so I wonder what the deal is with me getting close with this year's crop of kids. Maybe it's the fact that, as a whole, they're about ten times more obnoxious, whiney, and immature as last year's kids? (Surprisingly though, I'm not freaking out about that fact nearly as much as I normally would be---running thrice weekly is doing wonders for my sanity, as is my new habit of meditating daily.)

6. I've been contemplating for awhile now doing a post on why we've decided to wait so long (by Utah Mormon standards) to not have kids, but I'll be honest---I'm kind of scared to death to let it all out there. I already feel so judged most of the time as it is on the subject that I'm hesitant to open myself up about it in one more place that could bring me under even more fire. What do you think? Wouldya judge me? Would you even care to know?


7 comments:

  1. you haven't 'waited so long' to have kids. we were married 3 years before getting pregnant (granted we started trying prior to our 3 year anniversary, but still). no biggie. plenty of people wait even longer than that. even the utah mormons. if you want to share it, share it! if you don't, don't! people will think/say what they want, but that's a very personal decision and forget everyone else and their ideas of what YOU should be doing. ya know?

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  2. Mara and Jae is spot on! We're "Utah mormons" also and are waiting. The pressure from people around us (family and complete strangers) is sometimes phenomenal, BUT doing things in Heavenly Father's timing is ALWAYS better. Everyone else will respect you more for sticking to your guns. Do what feels right for you and your family; especially when trying to decide whether to explain why you're waiting or not.

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  3. Its no one's business! I am sorry if you have felt judged by people in that "culture". Here's a side of the coin some people don't think about when they start asking that question: there are some couples who have had multiple miscarriages, and when asked about their plans for children- that can hit such a sensitive nerve, they have no idea! For some women especially it can be an experience that has them doubting themselves, and their testimonies. Here is another example, a women that was physically abused as a child may be hesitant to procreate because she has a bad temper, and is afraid of what she might do to a child if she has one. Or a women who has been sexually abused, and has some serious healing to work on before bringing a child into this world being susceptible to being victims too. Or that she is constantly working on that intimate relationship with her husband, and it takes time and healing. Or the couple could be doubting their own relationship as well. There are so many scenarios that have hurt and trauma behind them, that it is too sensitive of a question to ask ( i have been guilty of it sometimes with close friends, and even then, it might have been crossing that line.) No matter the history that may influence a couple's decision to wait, it is their decision between them and the Lord, and the rest of the world can focus on themselves. I do recognize that some people genuinely care, not out of judgements, just love, I just hope the couple accepts it in that way. I sure hope you don't feel that I have an implying "message" in sending you the book. I know you are a wise self taught lady with an open mind to learning, and also a spiritually fantastic powerhouse, and could identify with the book, though you may not have reached that stage of life yet- and that is plenty ok!!! I love you Torrie-do you feel the need to write a post because you feel in defense of perceived judgements, or because it is something you would like to do to share your thoughts and bring enlightenment? I would love for you to overcome fears, but not if you feel you have to or if you feel it wouldn't be respected.

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  4. Torrie,
    I sure miss ya! Max and I have talked and talked and talked and prayed and prayed and prayed about having kids and just don't feel good about it yet. We've prayed to be inspired to know how to take care of a baby and keep me in school. And we haven't come up with anything remotely realistic. That's ok and the important thing is that God agrees with our decision to wait. That's too bad that you've been feeling so much pressure. But deep down, I think everyone respects your decision. I'm proud of you for putting so much thought into this subject. Honestly, if couples put this much thought and preparation into having children (instead of just following the cultural norm) then I think a lot more of them would have chosen to wait awhile.

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  5. On number 6, totally our business. I get asked weekly if I am pregnant in my ward. I recently found out I have hormone issues and I still don't feel like it is their business. Only share if you want!

    As far as teaching, Friday is my crazy day too!

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  6. we were married in 2006 and didn't start "trying" until 2011. for us, we just knew it wasn't the right time. vince was in school and we were just trying to figure our life out -- in hindsight i know it was the right thing to wait a few years.

    we got asked all the time in our first years of marriage when we were going to have kids. vince and i worked at the same place too for a while and anytime i was out sick, everyone would ask vince if i was pregnant. at the time, it didn't bother us. although, we have always felt like it is no ones business but our own and its just not really something you ask couples. but now... now that we've been trying for several years and had lots of issues and challenges with fertility, it is definitely tougher to get asked those questions. i know generally people probably mean well, but its such a personal question! you just never know what someone is going through... whether its infertility, miscarriages, major financial struggles, etc.

    but, if you want to share -- please do! i always feel better when i write things out (which is why i share so much personal stuff on my own blog). on the flip side -- if you don't feel comfortable or are worried people might judge, its your choice and your life! do what makes you happy!

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  7. Waiting 2 years isn't long! People will always judge for one thing or another, but not your true friends. We'll just love ya no matter what.

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Thanks so much for leaving a comment! I love reading your thoughts :)

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