Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Last Year of Certainty


While in Missouri, we checked out the Rockhurst campus (above) to consider it as an option for Matt's DPT (Doctor of Physical Therapy) degree. While we wandered the lush campus and tried to avoid the chiggers (which bit me all up and down my legs), it hit me:

This is our last year of certainty.

By that, I mean that unless catastrophe or tragedy strikes, we know exactly what our plan is for this year: I'm going to teach for another year at Harris and Matt's going to finish up his degree and work part-time at USU.

And that's where our road map ends.

Right now, we're in the thick of possibilities as Matt prepares to take the GRE, fills out his applications for various PT schools around the country, and continues to get volunteer hours at the hospital under his belt. Right now, a hundred different doors wait down the hall, and we have no idea which one we're going to go through---in a year, will we be in Kansas City, living with my dad? Will we be here in Utah? Will we be out in the middle-of-nowhere Wyoming, consoling ourselves with the fact that they at least pay their teachers really well?

It's unnerving.

I've always been the kind of person that generally feels more comfortable once a decision has been made, so all this uncertainty freaks me out. I like to plan, I like to prepare, and I generally like to know what's going on in the short-term future.

But most of our life will be decided for us in March or April, when we start to hear back from all the grad schools. It will be those phone calls that will determine whether my Utah teaching license will be used, or whether I will need to search the requirements and certify for another state. It will be those decisions in the hands of other people that will determine where we move, how much money we'll have to go into debt for, and where we're going to live.

Matt keeps telling me not to worry and that it will all work out. I know, deep down, that of course it will. Even if he doesn't get accepted anywhere this first year (heaven forbid), things will still work out.

I just hate having major life changes be completely out of my hands.

But I guess that's how life is, eh?

Do you have a time of uncertainty coming up? Or that you just got over?

7 comments:

  1. it is kind of scary, but it is kind of fun and exciting too, yes? gotta take chances and just go with it sometimes :) i'm excited for you and your possibilities.

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  2. I remember those feelings all so wellwhen my husband Paul was applying to pharmacy schools and then again as he graduated pharmacy school and was deciding where to work. It is crazy having such huge life changers up in the air but it is pretty awesome to watch it all fall into place in the end. Best wishes for a great year!

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  3. I'm in the SAME uncertainty boat right now! my hubs graduates in april from grad school and I keep wondering if he will get a job, will we have to move, what am I going to miss about where I am now and what will I regret that I missed out on? but I think it's pretty thrilling. one amazing adventure coming to an end another chapter starting. it's exciting! good luck finding the perfect place for next year. it's out there.

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  4. I come from living in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming. And I'm a teacher. It was AWESOME.

    I know how you feel about the uncertainty factor in our lives. When my husband and I graduated we felt kind of in the air like that, like "so... now what?" The possibilities were endless and that was fun and overwhelming at the same time. All I can tell you is: pray, fast, go to the Temple with your husband often. You'll find all the answers, comfort and guidance you need there. :)

    xo,
    Ana Paula
    {Visit me at Mommyhood, PhD}

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  5. Um welcome to my life. Even though our life seems pretty predictable right now I always feel like we are on the verge of a disaster or major life change. I guess it is just the time of life we are in. Or it is just life. It I always changing.

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  6. Um welcome to my life. Even though our life seems pretty predictable right now I always feel like we are on the verge of a disaster or major life change. I guess it is just the time of life we are in. Or it is just life. It I always changing.

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  7. It's totally scary! Stepping out into uncertainty is very scary. I thought we had another year too, but then again we might not.

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